How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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