have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
