The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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