Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
