i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We were destined to go to rehab together
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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