You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
why do cheetos always look like penises
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
