Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
