People in love make me want to vomit
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
