my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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