We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I don't deserve a penis
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
