So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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