halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
