I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
