I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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