So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I think people are normalizing furries
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
