You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
