When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
