My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
