I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
