Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
