I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
