ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
