And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
