hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
