You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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