My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
