my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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