Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
