You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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