his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
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