Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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