Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
