dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
