i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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