How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
