Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
