I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
