my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
