Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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