remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
