Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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