We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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