She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
