So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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