I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
