2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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