I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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