But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
