based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
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