So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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