sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
oh god the rape fog is back!
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
