i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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