Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
